Personal Philosophy
In thinking about my own personal communication philosophy, I reviewed the work I have done over the course of COML program. The most consistent theme has been Other as opportunity. Other is an opportunity to grow in awareness of self and of the world. In many esoteric writings, the student's question is a pinnacle moment because it signifies a mind that is open to change. “Man comes closer to God through the questions he asks Him... Therein lies true dialogue” (Wiesel, 1972, p. 4). When I reflect on my feelings of Other, I question my narrative about what the world “should” be. For me, if I do not question my should, I run the risk of believing that what I take for granted, or what I expect to happen, is “normal” and “right,” without considering if it is just or fair. Practice, self-reflection, compassion, a willingness to be uncomfortable, and honoring Other, are the foundations of my personal communication philosophy.
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I have been a practicing yoga student for over 25 years. Yoga’s foundational philosophy is nonviolence, practice, and non-attachment. Through my studies at Gonzaga, I have expanded and supported this understanding though Godamer’s Hermeneutics, Parker Palmer’s Tragic Gap, standpoint theory, narrative communication ethics, and real care ethics. Palmer (2009) said, the Tragic Gap is where we “learn to hold the tension between the reality of the moment and the possibility that something better might emerge” (p. 175). The reality of this moment may be tense, frustrating or demoralizing, so I will hold an ideal solution in my mind which is often unattainable or overly optimistic. The Tragic Gap is the space in between; a way of being in the present space with compassion, patience and non-violence. It asks us to stay in the tension between what is and what could be, to be present. Like yoga, The Tragic Gap is a doing, active, participatory practice. It demands a level of action and commitment on the part of the individual. The Tragic Gap and yoga both create a tension, a space for discovery. I must be willing to stay in that tension, that uncomfortable place, and grapple with my own thoughts and feelings; my reactions. “Freed from anger, aggression, and urgency, we are able to see the situation clearly, take it all in, and discover what to do. This clarity reveals ‘right action’ - those actions that feel genuinely appropriate in this moment without any concern about whether they will succeed or not” (Ferch, loc. 3505). Grappling with my reactions creates space for empathy, compassion, better understand and ultimately, better, less reactive, decision making.
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Listening well is the pathway to greater understanding, patience and better dialogue. “In building an essential community, dialogue is necessary and represents the will to listen and evoke listening, the will to build a mutually influential conversation from which all parties emerge changed for good” (Ferch, 2012, loc. 2855). For Gadamer (1975), dialogue is the vehicle for understanding, but understanding is found through interpretation. “Interpretation is a circle closed by the dialectic of question and answer” (p. 407). However, one must be willing to let go of preconceived notions in order to play correctly, to listen, to understand. “This imaginative productivity is not richest where it is merely free, ... but rather in a field of play where the understanding’s desire for unity does not so much confine it as suggest incitements to play” (Gadamer, p. 43). To better understand, one has to listen well because “no one knows in advance what will ‘come out’ of a conversation” (Gadamer, p. 401). As our society becomes increasingly polarized and isolated, I believe we need better ways to create community, social outlets and dialogue because, as Christians (2013) stated, “real care requires actual encounters with specific individuals; it cannot be accomplished through good intentions alone" (p. 19). It is imperative that we learn how to move outside our comfort zones and ask questions about Other, that we trust the inquiry will be safe, that we can manage the discomfort that comes with dialogue.
This perspective comes from my experience as a working, professional woman. Cunningham, Crandall and Dare (2017) noted, “women tend to have a different noticing style than men” and that “notice is essentially the building block of vision – shaping… how we tell a story and about why it matters” (loc. 525). Narrative communication ethics are “guidelines for evaluating one’s own life and that of others… [and] recognizes the story-laden nature of human experience” (Arnett, 2009, p. 51). Standpoint theory “examines the taken for granted… it explores and questions normative assumptions” (Arnett, 2009, p. 55). Narrative communication ethics acknowledges Other and explores the variables of story from differing perspectives. Standpoint theory demands we evaluate normative assumptions and take into consideration questions of power imbalances and control. According to Palmer (2009), “most forms of nonphysical violence are backed by institutional arrangements that allow it and even encourage it” (p. 174). Denying someone’s experience, saying it is not happening, or discounting it because we have not personally experienced it, is a form of violence. Gentile (2010) said, “the more we practice using our voice when it comes to values, the more skillful, confident, and comfortable we can be in doing so” (p.168). Using these theories together, combined with my own personal noticing style, have helped me grapple with my own biases and given me tools for better, more creative problem solving, and an ability to amplify my voice more skillfully.
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Ultimately, I am a teacher. I believe my responsibility is to model my personal philosophy in my work and create opportunities for others to feel safely uncomfortable and inclusive. Inclusive leadership is “explicitly acknowledging and involving individuals who might be excluded or marginalized due to their identity” (Cunningham, et.al., 2017, loc. 684). My students will one day be teachers. If their education is diverse and culturally sensitive, hopefully one day their work will be too.
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